Someone once told me that the most difficult part of being a parent is the first five years of a child's life. Surviving emotionally, physically, psychologically, and financially is what stresses out parents. Perhaps this is the problem within the homes where small children are horribly abused or killed. If the parent is young, the immaturity of the parent/s creates one more stressor in an already lengthy list. I, for one, had moments where I needed to walk away and cool off. I had the maturity to know when I was getting overwhelmed; I can only imagine how terrible it is for lower income/those with poor family supports/teenage parents. If the parent is the product of a teenage parent, then problems can be compounded.
Another complication that we face as parents of young children is trying to find affordable daycare. Many families (mine included) must work two jobs to afford mortgages, food, utilities and daycare. My husband works 3rd shirt, comes home and watches the children until the babysitter arrives at 1 pm. I work a full time job and a part time job to afford the babysitter. We need her, and could not afford her, without the part time job, but of course I must pay her more to cover the time I am at the second job. I get home, feed the children, play and then put them to bed. Doing all this extra still only leaves just enough money to meet the bills. I pray that I have no car repairs or unexpected bills until the summer when I will no longer need a sitter. I will of course not be able to do the 2nd job because it is connected to the school year. I will have to apply to teach over the summer so that I will have the money we need to pay for MM to be in pre-school because my school district does not have it. We will still need a babysitter for BJ, so I will need a babysitter and a pre-school. In this situation it pays to be poor because there is funding out there to pay for daycare, but the wage limit is so ridiculous, the person can not possibly live in decent housing. So daycare is needed to off-set the poor living conditions.
So, we are setting up an entire generation for failure. When do we say that we, as a society, need to embrace all children and provide them with more than just the basics. When we realize that every penny we spend on the care and education of our children is an investment in our future, we will be a better society. I will survive the financial set back. I only have about two years to go and I will be financially better off (car payment paid, MM in kindergarten, and Andy's mortgage paid for the home his mom and brother live in), and I will be able to provide for my children in a way that will be more than basic. But since I see each day what happens when we short-change our children, I know that our future is not as bright as it could be.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Getting my act together
I originally I had planned to talk about my New Year's resolutions, but then thought how pointless because we all know that resolutions last for maybe a month. Instead I thought I would talk about all my attempts to be better.
I spent the holiday break from school to finally try to get my home organized. It is no understatement when I say that I worked every single day on my house and it is only just to okay. When I first began this blog, I had just given birth and then shortly after fell down a flight of stairs. I could not believe how far behind I had gotten in everything because I was still dealing with not being able to move as well. Someone told me that falling down a flight of stairs is like being in a car accident; I believe them! I guess having just given birth made the experience worse. But I had no idea that it would take me so long to get my energy back. I wanted to get organized during the summer break (having decided not to take classes or teach summer school for a change), but I was still not up to it. Who would have thought it would be a year?
So, I needed to get my home office cleaned out enough to use it. I would be lying if I said I was done. Friends of mine helped me paint it before the baby was born, but since it is my space, it became the dumping ground. I still do not have the curtains up, but that will change today (or I hope that it will change today). My friends will be pleased to know that it is finally being used as an office, but disappointed to know that it still has its stacks of boxes. I need to get some shelves on the walls because I do not want anymore furniture. Vertical space will better use the space. So, this could be a "resolution" getting the shelving done.
I worked an entire day going through the childrens' clothing. I needed to make sure that only clothing that would fit them was easily accessible. I say this because my husband met me for dinner with MM wearing a pair of pants that were a full size too small and half of her backside was hanging out! So once that was accomplished, I had four bags of clothing that did not and would not fit them. I got so many hand me downs from friends for BJ that he can wear a different outfit for a month and not repeat! That God for hand me downs because there is no way I could go out and buy clothes for them right now.
Laundry is my biggest challenge. It always has been a challenge for me. In this, I am lucky to have a drill sergeant called Andy. He can not stand having laundry to do. So, when he realized that I was serious about getting all the laundry done, all the linens washed, all the curtains washed, plus all those other items that I had not gotten around to, he helped me. So, the routine became he washed and dried, I folded and put away. We are not done all of it, but we have managed to get it down to three more loads of laundry and then we will finally be on top of it! I had no idea that I was so far behind, but again, being a full time mommy and full time teacher does not leave loads of extra time. To save energy, we are using the pellet stove's heat to dry jeans, towels and sweatshirts. The basement is finished, so we rigged a clothes line around the poles and through the laundry room door way. It has allowed us to breeze through laundry faster because it dries two loads in the length of time it takes to dry one in the drier.
Related to my laundry issues was my inability to put away laundry. Those who know me know that I do not mind doing laundry, folding it or even ironing, but I do not like putting it away! So, for the past three weeks, I have put away all my laundry as soon as it got put up or within a day of putting it up in my room. This is a huge accomplishment. Isn't that sad? I am nearly 40 and I have only just mastered something that most people master when they are seven!
One thing that I have not been able to do yet is get the menu put together that I wanted to write. I saw this news story where this woman had organized a menu for the entire year. I am just trying to get a week done right now, but have not gotten around to it yet. I am still trying to decide which recipes that I want to tackle. I will have to do all my cooking on the weekend and then cook it as the weeks progresses. I am still organizing and cleaning on the weekends, so I guess I will shoot for February for a month long menu. How's that? Start with the shortest month!
The final thing I did was get curtains for my living room and bedroom. I was able to hit Boscov's super curtain sale and managed to get curtains for up to 75% off. I needed thermal, light blocking curtains for my bedroom because Andy is sleeping during the day and it is the coldest room in the house. I have come to the conclusion that the front of the house does not have proper insulation because it is always cold. The front door is not used very often, and it lets in loads of cold air, so I put up thermal curtains and it made about a 10 degree difference! The curtains in the living room are not thermal, but made of a material that blocks some of the draft. Once the weather changes, I have going to re-caulk the windows and door. I am also going to have Andy crawl up into the attic and see if there is any way to put more insulation down into the walls and/or see if there is any!
So, if you come to my house, I will not be totally embarrassed any longer, but give me a month to be proud.
I spent the holiday break from school to finally try to get my home organized. It is no understatement when I say that I worked every single day on my house and it is only just to okay. When I first began this blog, I had just given birth and then shortly after fell down a flight of stairs. I could not believe how far behind I had gotten in everything because I was still dealing with not being able to move as well. Someone told me that falling down a flight of stairs is like being in a car accident; I believe them! I guess having just given birth made the experience worse. But I had no idea that it would take me so long to get my energy back. I wanted to get organized during the summer break (having decided not to take classes or teach summer school for a change), but I was still not up to it. Who would have thought it would be a year?
So, I needed to get my home office cleaned out enough to use it. I would be lying if I said I was done. Friends of mine helped me paint it before the baby was born, but since it is my space, it became the dumping ground. I still do not have the curtains up, but that will change today (or I hope that it will change today). My friends will be pleased to know that it is finally being used as an office, but disappointed to know that it still has its stacks of boxes. I need to get some shelves on the walls because I do not want anymore furniture. Vertical space will better use the space. So, this could be a "resolution" getting the shelving done.
I worked an entire day going through the childrens' clothing. I needed to make sure that only clothing that would fit them was easily accessible. I say this because my husband met me for dinner with MM wearing a pair of pants that were a full size too small and half of her backside was hanging out! So once that was accomplished, I had four bags of clothing that did not and would not fit them. I got so many hand me downs from friends for BJ that he can wear a different outfit for a month and not repeat! That God for hand me downs because there is no way I could go out and buy clothes for them right now.
Laundry is my biggest challenge. It always has been a challenge for me. In this, I am lucky to have a drill sergeant called Andy. He can not stand having laundry to do. So, when he realized that I was serious about getting all the laundry done, all the linens washed, all the curtains washed, plus all those other items that I had not gotten around to, he helped me. So, the routine became he washed and dried, I folded and put away. We are not done all of it, but we have managed to get it down to three more loads of laundry and then we will finally be on top of it! I had no idea that I was so far behind, but again, being a full time mommy and full time teacher does not leave loads of extra time. To save energy, we are using the pellet stove's heat to dry jeans, towels and sweatshirts. The basement is finished, so we rigged a clothes line around the poles and through the laundry room door way. It has allowed us to breeze through laundry faster because it dries two loads in the length of time it takes to dry one in the drier.
Related to my laundry issues was my inability to put away laundry. Those who know me know that I do not mind doing laundry, folding it or even ironing, but I do not like putting it away! So, for the past three weeks, I have put away all my laundry as soon as it got put up or within a day of putting it up in my room. This is a huge accomplishment. Isn't that sad? I am nearly 40 and I have only just mastered something that most people master when they are seven!
One thing that I have not been able to do yet is get the menu put together that I wanted to write. I saw this news story where this woman had organized a menu for the entire year. I am just trying to get a week done right now, but have not gotten around to it yet. I am still trying to decide which recipes that I want to tackle. I will have to do all my cooking on the weekend and then cook it as the weeks progresses. I am still organizing and cleaning on the weekends, so I guess I will shoot for February for a month long menu. How's that? Start with the shortest month!
The final thing I did was get curtains for my living room and bedroom. I was able to hit Boscov's super curtain sale and managed to get curtains for up to 75% off. I needed thermal, light blocking curtains for my bedroom because Andy is sleeping during the day and it is the coldest room in the house. I have come to the conclusion that the front of the house does not have proper insulation because it is always cold. The front door is not used very often, and it lets in loads of cold air, so I put up thermal curtains and it made about a 10 degree difference! The curtains in the living room are not thermal, but made of a material that blocks some of the draft. Once the weather changes, I have going to re-caulk the windows and door. I am also going to have Andy crawl up into the attic and see if there is any way to put more insulation down into the walls and/or see if there is any!
So, if you come to my house, I will not be totally embarrassed any longer, but give me a month to be proud.
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