Blessings

I have been having several stressful weeks as work which has led to me forgetting to post and to not value my family as much as I should. I would like to change both of these now.

Having two small children, a busy career and pushing the big 4-0 (next year) has really exhausted me, so much that I have not stopped to really appreciate the little things. When I was younger, I really wanted a family and could think of little else. As I got older and it became more obvious that I was not going to have children, I could barely block out the loud tick-tick of my biological clock. So, one would think that I should be over the moon by having two children now. I am; I just forgot that I wanted them so badly.

Let's begin with BJ. It was a high risk pregnancy from start to finish. I worried almost the entire time that something would be terribly wrong. When he was born, I was so relieved that everything was fine. His digestive issues and failure to latch properly were minor compared to what the possibilities were. BJ's colic is getting better and better, but the spitting up continues (I hear specialist) so I have forgotten to appreciate the lack of crying. The other day I watched a news segment about a woman losing her son to stillbirth; that could have been me. At that moment, I remembered to be appreciative of the blessing that is my son. Things could have been worse; I at least have my son. I am now trying to appreciate him more even when he wakes me up at 4 am and refuses to let me sleep anymore.

Until I got pregnant with MM, I did not think I could get pregnant. Celiac disease is one of the culprits in preventing pregnancy. She is my sunshine. In fact, I sing "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." to her and add the verse "You are my MM, my only MM, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my MM away." When MM is writing on the walls, refusing to use the potty and throwing temper tantrums, I need to remember that she allowed me to be a mommy first.

Finally, to Andy. Sure he is a grouch and a farmer boy, but I love him. He cares for me like no other person has. He chips in with chores and daddy duties like my father never did. He is hard working, loving and caring, and provides for us the best he can. He makes the best mashed potatoes even when he burns the rest of the meal (he will never be a chef!) and will help clean up the kitchen without being asked. He also allowed me to be a mommy even if I just gave birth to his clones. It is hard to remember to be loving sometimes, especially with the day to day grind, but I am going to try to be more appreciative of all his efforts.

I am dedicated to trying to find the happy each day and remember all my blessings.