Doing things for yourself

 I am feeling selfish right now. Maybe selfish is not the right word. I am taking time to do things for myself that I have not had time to do for a while. Having children and a husband and... well you know, things just get in the way of taking time for oneself.

Last weekend my husband took the children to the mountains. His family have a cabin there and he feels better about life when he can get away from responsibilities for a while. The only thing was that he had to take the children because I had a conference I need to attend. His buddy Tom went too. Tom brought his grandsons along so that MM had children to play with. My mother-in-law went so she helped to take care of BJ. So I guess he did have down time away from responsibilities.

I took the time to sleep in when I could and I went to the movies. I saw Hereafter. I was good. I liked the chance to watch something that Andy would not watch and that will most likely be nominated for an Oscar. It really makes you think about life, death, and making sure that you live life. I had saved spare change to give me enough money to go. I guess that was me being selfish because I should have spent it on the family, but I did not. I did get a free bag of popcorn, so going to the movies was just the cost of the movie. Anyway, I slept in the next day and did not get much cleaning done in the house. Andy was a little irritated with me because I think he was expecting to come home to a clean house I did not do it.

I do have a wish though. I would love to be able to go to England. I miss it, I miss my friends, and I miss the feeling of non-stress that I have while there. Sitting in a cafe having tea or going to a pub to talk with friends is so wonderful. Here there is so many things that I need to do, but there I can see my priorities so much more clearly. Before reconnecting with my husband, I had begun the process to find employment in Scotland. I was at the second stage of the process when I went on my second first date with Andy and changed my mind. I would not change my decision, but sometimes I wish that I could see what life would have been like if I gone that direction, you know, like the movie Sliding Doors?

I went to school to grade papers this morning. Before I did anything I read a chapter in a book someone recommended The Perks of Being a Wallflower. So that means that again I was being a little selfish and irresponsible. Andy is giving me time to work on school work, but the quiet beckoned and I felt the need to read. I have not had the chance to read for a while. I will say that I used to read a book a week, but now do not have the time. Children and sleep absorb too much time.

I also put on soundtrack to Forrest Gump. I know, very retro, but it immediately reminded me of when I was in my twenties and had so few responsibilities and stress; yet I felt the pressures of the world upon my shoulders. Ha, that was nothing!

 I think I would love to have a few more days of blissful irresponsibility. Is once a week too much?

Wow! It has been a while!

I can not believe I have been away from the blog for so long! I am sorry. I have been insanely busy. The school year was so crazy at the beginning that I lost 12 pounds! Now for those who know me, other than giving birth, that is the only time I have been able to so easily lose weight.

I have so many things to say that I am tempted to say them all in one blog, but it would mean that this one would be a two pager, so I will try to do it in several. I am also going to try to be better and schedule the blog writing time.

So let me address the schedule change and how it has been working. When I last talked about it, I said that I was working during the day, taking care of the children in the evening and taking the children with me to work so that my husband could pick them up in the parking lot of my school after his 3rd shift job ended. Well, that is still the schedule, sort of.

MM is a very inquisitive child. She enjoys challenging herself and exploring new places as well as her abilities. You know the cartoon in which the small child stacks loads of books, furniture, and toys into an teetering tower so that she can reach the cookie jar? Well, that is MM. As much as my husband wanted to stay awake, after working all night at a physically demanding job, he was finding himself falling asleep about mid-morning. He even tried not sitting down, but eventually he needed to, and well, MM was waiting.

So, before we came up with a solution, MM did the following:

1. climbed up on a chair, then the counter-top and got into an upper cabinet in the kitchen to get the plastic salt mill so that she could put it in the toaster. My husband woke up to the smell of smoke. Needed to replace toaster and salt mill; thankfully not house, child or husband.
2. dumped an entire container of liquid soap in the sink and "finger painted" the floor, the walls and her hair. (took a 10 minute shower to get all the soap out of her hair and off body).
3. walked out of house (!) to play in the rain. She did have her boots on.
4. went poo-poo in potty but does not have wiping skills quite mastered so rubbed butt on white carpet in her bedroom until she felt clean.
5. used window markers to decorate the wood-work, the walls, the fabric on dining room chairs, the tile in foyer, the carpet in living room, her shoes and finally her brother's toes (this woke Andy up).
6. dumped an entire container of liquid soap in the other bathroom after climbing onto stool. She "finger painted" the mirror, the walls, the floor and the carpet in playroom. (another 10 minute shower)
7. used crayons to color in whole deck of playing cards.
8. revenge peed in her bedroom
9. dumped all of her toys out of their containers in the play room, thus creating a crawling hazard for BJ
10. jumped from coffee table to couch, to sitting chairs, to coffee table, to couch...

So, we have scraped together every last cent we have so that we could hire my husband's adult niece for a few hours each day. Kim comes over from 1 pm until I get home so that Andy can sleep from 1 pm to 8 pm and MM never gets the chance to be too creative.