Mrs. Grouchy

I have been lucky enough to get a little more sleep this week. BJ was put on liquid Zantac without having to go through an upper GI. I guess I made a convincing enough case for trying the Zantac before such an invasive procedure. This week has been better. Last night wasn't so hot, but since I did not have school today, it did not feel as bad. I am trying to get MM back into her big girl bed now that she is feeling better, but she still wakes up several times a night because she senses I have gone back to my bed.

So why do I feel so grouchy?

Maybe it's the winter blahs? Maybe it is the overall feeling that I am not getting enough sleep? Maybe it is work pressures? Maybe it is the financial strain? It is probably all of those combined. So why do I not handle it better?

It is funny how in our modern age that as women we feel like we are not being the best mom, wife, friend, etc... that we can be if our children are not perfect, our homes are not cleaned and we do not handle the pressures of work well. I wish I had my husband's ability to believe that everything will work out and that stressing over it will only give me heartburn. Yes, I have the heartburn, but part of it is because he does not seem to be as concerned as I am about catching up. When I come home from teaching, I still have my wife and mother job to fullfill. My evenings and weekends are spent trying to get the house cleaned and the laundry done. Please understand that Andy does help out a lot, but my priorities are not his. He does not see all the incomplete projects around the house. He lives by the expression "Cleaning while the kids are growing is like shoveling while it is still snowing!" He cleans certain areas and does his laundry, but he does not worry about other parts of the house. I am the one who looks at everything and wants it to be put together perfectly, but I do not seem to have the time to get it all done.

Just so this posting does not look like I am upset with my husband, I do wish to clarify a little. Andy is great with the kids, helps out with many things that my father never helped out with or even fathers a generation ago would have helped out with. Andy will do the poopy diapers, help get MM dressed in the morning, put hair ties in MM's hair (something really funny to see), strip the dishwasher, clean his mancave and take care of all the snow removal (three and half feet this last time) so I do not have to. He is just laid back and I am jealous.

I wish I could win a contest in which I got a cleaning/ homerepair crew to come to my house and give me a clean slate to work with. I love watching Clean House on Style TV, but my house would not qualify. My house is messy, but not filthy with piles of stuff everywhere. It just can not be featured in Better Homes and Gardens, and I think that is what I secretly crave: to have a home that a magazine would want to feature it. So that is why I am Mrs. Grouchy.